R ecently I have found myself wondering about the prevalence of rough sex in new fiction written by women. And then we can have sex. Each reader can make up their own mind about how good the work is.
One night, after too many whiskey sours, the conversation among a group of my closest friends and I turned to sex. We're not a judge-y group, nor are we bashful when it comes to providing the intimate details of our sex lives. And, yet, when one of my friends revealed that she falls off the orgasmic cliff when her boyfriend calls her a "whore" just as she's about to come, she lowered her eyelids to the table.
We are lying in my bed staring at each other. Both of us are on edge, annoyed with the other, and it seems that the only reasonable way to work it out now is to fuck. I yank him on top of me and we kiss, hard and messy and passionately.
A month or so back, I found myself in a gay club dancing with lovely men who made me feel fun, sexy and beautiful, but had absolutely no interest in tempting me away from my domestic haven. I realized my year relationship now-marriage had some predictable sexual patterns, which happens in any long-term relationship. But suddenly, I felt a strong compulsion to break free of those patterns. Could it be turning 50?
It first happened at a party last November. I was making small talk with some girls I didn't know too well. Another chimed in with a story about coaxing a hesitant ex into experimenting with rougher, kinkier stuff.
The image of a submissive woman is one who is happy to submit to any strong person, whether it be during rough sex or even outside of the bedroom. In all relationships, there exists power exchange. One person is in charge of X and the other in charge of Y.
Do you really know what women want when things get hot and heavy? Or are you blithely unaware, resorting to your catalog of porn to pull out moves you assume are successful, because damn, those women seem to be enjoying it? While adult films have, for better or worse, become a de-facto form of sex educationwhat you see on screen is sometimes just for show.
The Art of Scratching. Blows and Sighs. These may sound like chapter titles in a BDSM manual. Yeah, apparently people have been having rough sex since the dawn of time.
As humans, we have distinctly different sexual tendencies from person to person. Where is the appeal of mixing pleasure with pain? There are probably a million reasons why we may do the things we do, and sometimes they can be different from one person to the next.